In the gutter of my mind

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:11:59 GMT

YEAH. I WATCHED IT AND I HEART IT SO MUCH.

SO HERE IS A VERY LONG, RATHER INAPPROPRIATE, COMPLETELY CAPSLOCKED, REVIEW OF IT

BRADLEY IN BOXERS/SHORTS

BEARDY BRADLEY

"DOING ODD THINGS IN THE DARK" AND MY FRIENDS WONDER WHY I READ RPS.

COLIN WITH CORNFLAKES. AND BOOKS. AND STUFF. EEEEEEEE. I LOVE HIM MORE AND MORE.

BOYS WITH MAPS.

COLIN CAN'T DRIVE. AWWWW BABY. LOVE YOU.

IS THAT BRADLEY'S ACTUAL CAR OR WHAT?

I AM GOING TO LIVE IN THAT ROOM SOMEDAY. 2000 VOLUMES COMPLETELY DEDICATED TO ARTHURIAN LEGEND =/= MY IDEA OF HEAVEN.

BOYS WHO CANNOT READ MAPS. AWWWWWW.

PRETTY CAMERA SHOTS. PRETTY BOYS. COMPLETELY MAKES UP FOR EP 10.

SCENIC ROUTE. COLIN I LOVE YOU.

THEY MISSED THE FRIGGING LIBRARY. LOL. OH BOYS I HEART YOU SO MUCH.

THEY ARE 'ACK-TORS' AREN'T THEY BRADLEY *GRIN*

ARTHUR KILLS 960 MEN IN ONE BATTLE. LOL.

THAT GUY, I WANT TO KIDNAP HIM TO. WITH COLIN AND BRADLEY.

THEY BOTH LOOK REALLY INTERESTED. OH BOYS. I LOVE YOU.

COLIN'S ACCENT. THIS IS WHY I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO ANYWHERE WHERE COLIN AND BRADLEY WOULD BE. I WOULD TOTALLY JUMP THEM AND/OR KIDNAP THEM BOTH.

LOL AT THE GRAPHICS AND BRADLEY AND COLIN BOBBLEHEADS.

BRADLEY TRYING TO PRONOUNCE WELSH NAMES. OH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

COLIN TRYING TO PRONOUNCE WELSH NAMES. LOL. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

COLIN IN A YUMMY DARK GREEN HOODY AND BRADLEY IN A (I THINK) FAUX LEATHER JACKET. (UM YEAH, I'M NOT GOING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT TO RPS FIC)

WAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEES. IS VERY PRETTY

LOL BRADLEY HAS VERY LITTLE IDEA OF WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ARTHUR WAS GROWING UP. HE'S ADORABLE.

BOYS. ON A BENCH. UNDER A MASSIVE SIGN. WEEEEEEEE

'THIS MIGHT SHAKE OUR WORLD UP A BIT'. I'LL SHAKE YOUR WORLD UP COLIN.

BRADLEY DOING A FAUX ROYAL WAVE. ILU BRADLEY.

COLIN CONCENTRATING ON THE MAP. HE'S SO PRETTY AND SORT OF STUBBLY. EEEEEEEEE

WALES IS PRETTY. I'M GOING TO GO TO WALES AT SOME POINT.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE ON A DANGEROUS ROAD. I'M WORRIED FOR THEM. SORT OF.

GOD I LOVE THESE BOYS, THEY ARE ADORABLE 'DON'T WORRY, BRADLEY'S AT THE WHEEL' AND COLIN LOOKING SCARED. HE HAS VERY PRETTY EYES.

'I'D BETTER KEEP MY EYES ON THE ROAD I THINK' WILL. NOT. THINK. OF. RPS. WILL. NOT. WILL. NOT. AWW SOD IT, WILL DEFINITELY THINK OF RPS.

HOW MANY LAYERS HAS COLIN GOT ON? HE'S WEARING ABOUT THREE HOODIES. LOL.

STORY TIME BRADLEY. I WOULD HAVE KIDS WITH HIM JUST TO LISTEN TO HIM READ THEM STORIES.

EPIC BATTLES FTW.

THEY'RE GOING TO CAMLAN (ALTHOUGH I'VE ALWAYS SEEN IT SPELT CAMLANN, BUT WHATEVER) TO DO SOME DOWSING. SOUNDS FUN.

STRANGE MAN WITH BIG BEARD AND SHORT SHORTS. I DON'T LIKE HIM.

AWWW BOYS, DOWSING.

'WHEN YOUR RODS CROSS, STOP' INAPPROPRIATETHOUGHTSINAPPROPRIATETHOUGHTS

BRADLEY AND COLIN (AND RANDOM GUY) UNDER A TREE (NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY'RE STANDING UNDER A TREE)

LATE BOYS ARE LATE. I DON'T CARE. THEY'RE PRETTY.

COLIN'S HAAAAAAT. I WANT IT.

I'M NOT GOING TO COMMENT ON BRADLEY SAYING 'RUB OFF ON YOU'. I PROMISE.

BRADLEY AND COLIN HAVE BEEN DOING STRANGE THINGS IN THE DARK. *EYEBROW WAGGLE*

PRETTY GREEN RUINY CROP CIRCLE.

OMGZ THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT GEOFFREY OF MONMOTH. LIKE THE GUY IN MERLIN. ONLY NOT. BECAUSE GEOFFY WAS KIND OF A LIAR.

COLIN'S EYES ARE REALLY REALLY PRETTY AND SUCH A LOVELY SHADE OF BLUE.

OH BOYS. ILU BOTH SO MUCH.

BRADLEY'S EYES ARE VERY PRETTY TOO.

ALSO, IF ANYBODY WANTS TO KNOW (AND JUST SO I DON'T FORGET) THE NUMBERPLATE TO THE CAR THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE BRADLEY'S IS CE09 WDA. FOR RECREATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY.

I WANT BRADLEY'S COAT.

PRETTY.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:48:28 GMT

Title: Knight in a shining Audi
Rating: 15 (I think)
Length: 2722
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Summary: The tidied up version of my original response to this prompt 'Arthur/Merlin, fic where Arthur is the whore, for once, and Merlin comes in to rescue him.'
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, prostitution (not graphic)
Notes: Comment please

It had been two years. Almost exactly two years. Because his twentieth birthday was last week and it was about a week after his eighteenth that his father had caught him with Gareth and promptly thrown him out of the house with the clothes on his back, a hundred quid in his pocket and instructions to never contact Uther (or any newspapers) ever again.

Arthur wasn't even sure he was gay. He'd just been curious. An only child, hopelessly spoiled and indulged by a father who was barely there. He hadn't known what would happen. He'd experimented with alcohol, drugs, getting arrested and his father hadn't batted an eyelash. Why would he this time?

The first few weeks had been the worst of his life, he'd been sleeping rough. Arthur Pendragon, heir to the Pendragon business empire’s billions, sleeping rough on the streets of London. The hundred quid had gone quickly and he'd still been thinking that he was going to wake up and he'd be sleeping in his own king-size bed, in his room and his life would be back to normal. He hadn't woken up.

The night was wet and cold, which meant business wasn't going to be good. But he had rent to pay next week, his trainers were leaking and his supply of dry pasta and bread had run out the day before yesterday so he seriously needed the money. Shrugging on a thin button-down shirt and battered jeans Arthur used the dusty window glass as a mirror. He didn't particularly like what he saw; he'd lost weight and muscle mass through two years of having too bloody little to eat, the clothes he had from two years ago hung off him now, his hair was longer than he liked it (no money for a haircut and no idea of how to go about cutting his own hair) and his razor had broken this morning so he was still itchily stubbly. Not exactly an attractive prospect but he might as well try.

He'd been scraping a living by selling his body for just under two years now. He'd slept on the streets for nearly a month after being thrown out, getting progressively hungrier and hungrier. Then he'd been loitering around the corner of an ally by a restaurant, hoping to nick some leftovers from the bins out back - oh how the mighty Arthur Pendragon had fallen - when he'd been approached and offered fifty quid to blow a guy. The man had been drunk and not at all nice and Arthur really had no experience of giving blowjobs, more used to receiving them, but he hadn't bitten the guy and had had a few notes thrown at him. He'd been stupid with his newly found wealth, staying overnight at the cheapest B&B he could find but that had still eaten up most of the funds - although he had gotten a large breakfast out of it. It had taken him the better part of two more weeks to turn enough tricks to get the money for rent on a dingy, one bedroom flat about half the size of his former wardrobe. He'd been living here ever since. Barely living. Existing.

Having grown up in a home where the cleaning, washing, cooking and everything had been taken care of by staff Arthur had had absolutely no idea of how to take care of himself. So he'd been living off cheap rubbery pasta, bread with a consistency of cotton wool and tap water with a light flavouring of iron for the last eighteen months. The flat didn't actually have a washing machine and when he'd stumbled upon a laundrette he'd honestly had no clue how to use it. Fortunately there had been a somewhat portly middle aged woman there who'd clucked over him, showed him how to use the washing machines and then given him her box of washing powder when it became obvious he didn't have any.

Arthur left his worn jacket inside, pocketed the key and left the flat. He'd be drenched by the time he got to the street he usually worked, but in the absence of having anything more revealing having a shirt moulded to him by the rain would have to do. Besides, on a night as shitty at this, what business other than selling their body would someone have out here?

*~*~*~*~*

Merlin had known who and what he was since he was seven (he was always the first to remember). He'd also known the need for secrecy, passed down through many lives and reincarnations, he didn't even tell his mother - Hunith never remembered, whatever happened. Fortunately by then he and Gwen had been friends since age five (they were often drawn together fairly early on), although he hadn’t told her she'd remembered when they were fourteen and she'd caught him doing magic. she'd berated him for not telling her earlier but she’d been hugging him at the time so it hadn’t really worked.

Will, Gaius and Morgana hadn't turned up until last year; Morgana was doing something to do with fashion (Merlin didn't know exactly what) at University of the Arts, London, which was where Gwen was studying Design. Gwen had introduced them one afternoon when Merlin had come over for tea, and to complain about his course load at Imperial College. Morgana had always been the quickest (after Merlin) to remember and so, instead of spending the evening whining about their respective course loads, they'd spent the rest of the evening talking about previous lives and the all important topic - where Arthur was. Morgana's parents were both fine and completely alive and, though she vaguely recalled her father having something to do with the Pendragon business empire, she'd never met Uther or Arthur. Will owned Merlin's local pub and they occasionally went out together, whenever neither of them had anything better to do. Gaius, on the other hand, turned out to be one of Merlin's professors and, since Gaius rarely remembered without direct intervention from Merlin, the odd looks he'd been giving Merlin were somewhat suspect.

All this had no bearing on the fact he was driving around winding back streets of London on a feeling. Well, on a little more than that, his magic had been getting...well itchy was the only word Merlin could really use. The day before yesterday he'd walked to the nearest Costa while half-asleep to buy his morning cup of (exorbitantly expensive) coffee and ended up walking somewhere completely different for ten minutes before he noticed. His magic obviously wanted him to do something or meet somebody. So, with Gwen and Morgana out, Merlin had taken his car and followed his magic's directions. For the past few streets he'd seen people, albeit very few, men and women dressed in tight, revealing clothing and obviously soliciting. What on earth was he thinking, being here? With a sigh Merlin decided he was going to turn his car around and head home.

It was right then he saw him. Shaggy blond hair plastered to his head from the rain, button-down shirt sticking to his frame, - which was skinnier than it ought to be - jeans and trainers which looked to be falling apart. From somewhere inside him his magic was singing. Arthur.

*~*~*~*~*

Arthur's night had been boring and wet and he was rather worried he'd come down with a cold - that would damage his business, nobody wanted to fuck someone who was sniffling, sneezing and coughing. He didn't have the money for cold medicine anyway. Still, he needed to make sure there was nobody around before he left for home: a broken heater, a scratchy towel and some scratchier blankets. Even a couple of extra quid would help.

There was an Audi TT Coupe meandering slowly down the street, the driver appeared to be distracted so it was a good thing the streets were deserted. He was either lost or this was his first time soliciting a street walker. Whichever that might be Arthur approached the car and the window rolled down, Arthur found himself staring into the bluest pair of eyes he'd ever seen and they looked oddly familiar.
"You want something?" Arthur asked, the dark haired guy in the car looked awkward - definitely a first timer then.
Merlin was dumbfounded for a minute, this was Arthur and he was a prostitute. Why oh why was Arthur always the one who took the longest to remember? This would have been so much easier if, like Morgana, they'd just looked at each other and Arthur had remembered. But then again Arthur was always a stubborn prat.
"Yeah" Merlin said, although it was more like croaked because his throat had gone dry when he'd seen Arthur.
Arthur couldn't say he was surprised but at least he'd get out of this infernal rain (the problem with having no TV and no paper was he never knew what the weather was doing). He walked around to the passenger side of the car and got in, if this guy minded getting his car's seats wet then he wouldn't have picked up a wet hooker.
"I'm Merlin" Arthur snorted, both at the name (although somewhere inside him it rang a bell) and at the fact one of his tricks was trying to make small talk. Although he was grateful when Merlin turned the heater on, he hadn't been able to feel his hands or most of his extremities.

Merlin was actually having a full on inner panic attack; he had Arthur in his car, he had Arthur who hadn't remembered who he was in his car, Arthur who was working as a prostitute and thought Merlin was his next...customer. The thought of anyone but him touching Arthur in that way pissed Merlin off - but that was something to sort out later.
"Why are you doing this?" Merlin asked gently, he couldn't help wanting to know everything about Arthur in every incarnation.
"What, turning tricks?" Arthur snapped bitterly "how the fuck else am I supposed to survive?" Suddenly Arthur couldn't stop himself from ranting "thrown out by my father, dropped out of college, no CV to speak of. What the fuck else is there to do?" Merlin gripped the steering wheel tighter and fought down the urge to go out and stop whatever or whoever was hurting Arthur. Even if that happened to be Uther. Arthur was still speaking, now sounding slightly hysterical "I'm Arthur fucking Pendragon, this wasn't supposed to happen. I was just fucking curious, just messing around. I didn't know father would react like that." Now all Merlin wanted to do was hug Arthur to him and protect him from the world.

Well now he was stuffed. He'd just opened himself up to a world of mockery because who didn't recognize the surname Pendragon? Plus he'd just had a slight hysterical breakdown in his trick's car, which was never a good thing, but Merlin hadn't said anything and when Arthur darted a glance at him through his overly long hair Merlin was looking at him not with disgust but with care. That was a very weird feeling, someone caring about him. Arthur supposed his father had cared about him (he didn't want to speculate on whether Uther still cared about him) but from the amount of time Uther had spent away from him and the emotionally detached way he'd given into Arthur's every mercenary request Arthur realised his father hadn't ever been...well...fatherly.

Arthur was jerked out of his introspection when they jolted to a stop as Merlin parked. He was led, in total silence, up a few flights of stairs and to a locked door which Merlin preceded to open. Christ, the man had brought him to his flat, how insane was this guy? Without conscious decision Arthur reverted to the rather brusque business manner he had developed over the past eighteen months.
"What do you..." he was interrupted by his stomach giving a loud growl; Merlin snorted and tried to cover it with a hand, Arthur flushed a dull red.
"You want something to eat?" Merlin offered,
"Yes!" This had to be the weirdest night ever but Arthur hadn't eaten in two days so he wasn't about to turn down free food.

Five minutes later Arthur was sitting on the slightly battered sofa eating a couple of slices of toast while Merlin cooked - Merlin had said something about his mother being sick for a while and having to learn to cook. The bread was obviously home-made, Arthur had spotted a bread-maker in the kitchen, and slathered in butter; God, he hadn't had butter in about a year, maybe longer. Although he was aware he was being terribly bad mannered Arthur honestly couldn't bring himself to care.

Two hours after that Arthur felt full and replete, now lying down and stretched over the entire sofa, half asleep. His survival instinct, honed after the last two years, was telling him that this was too good to last and Merlin had to be doing this for a reason but something even stronger inside of him was saying that everything was fine and that he could trust Merlin. The second feeling felt like nothing Arthur had ever felt before, it felt old and familiar and like home. It was contemplating just exactly what that feeling was that he fell asleep.

With a start Arthur jerked into wakefulness, throwing the thick blankets half off him awkwardly, looking around wildly at this foreign living room (usually when he woke up in strange places the places were beds and there was someone else there) before remembering the crazy events of last night. He'd barely gotten used to his new surroundings when Merlin wandered in
"Sleep well?" Merlin asked, still oddly caring
"Yes" Arthur said suspiciously
"Want breakfast?" Merlin checked his watch "Well...lunch?"
"Sure."

After lunch Arthur had his first hot shower in months, he'd been washing with a flannel and cold water so the invitation to use a hot shower and some decent shampoo couldn't be turned down. By the time he'd dried off and changed into some of Merlin's clothes Arthur was thoroughly confused; he didn't understand why on earth some complete stranger would be this kind for no reason. Arthur hated being confused.

"Why are you doing this?" Merlin was sitting in the lounge looking over papers which looked complicated when Arthur strode in, hair still damp from the shower and demanding an answer.
"Doing what?" Merlin looked up, all wide blue eyes and innocence. His eyes caught on Arthur wearing his clothes because, throughout nearly all of their lives, Merlin had been the skinny one (he still was skinny in this life). The tee-shirt Arthur was wearing shouldn’t hang off him. That led Merlin to looking at Arthur properly, yes he was definitely Arthur but he looked pale, worn and haggard, both his hair and his eyes had lost their usual healthy sheen. This wasn’t right. The desire to protect Arthur from everything flared in his chest. He was going to make this right.
"Being nice, I'm nobody to you." Arthur turned away from the measuring look Merlin was giving him but caught his shoulder on a shelf, sending an ornament tumbling, he turned back in time to see Merlin's eyes, still focused on him, flash gold and the ornament slowed down until it landed softly on the carpet. Unbroken. Right then, with the gold still fading from Merlin's eyes, everything clicked into place and Arthur remembered. Who he was. Who he had been.
"Oh God." Was all he said, stumbling towards Merlin to collapse on the sofa beside him, shocked. He was King Arthur. He always had been. But now he remembered Merlin properly. His friend. His sorcerer. His councillor. His lover. Well there was the question about why Merlin was being nice answered.
"Thank you." He knew Merlin would know what he meant, thank you for finding me, making me remember.
"It's alright, it's not often I get to be your knight in shining armour." Merlin joked, because right then it was either joke or jump on Arthur, and he didn't think that right now was the time for the second one.
"More like my knight in a shining Audi." Arthur riposted.

And somehow, both of them knew everything was going to be okay.

Sequel coming soon

NaNoWriMo...Or Not

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:59:23 GMT

So I remembered last week that it was going on November (and thus, my birthday) and decided 'hey, let's give NaNoWriMo a shot'.

I don't think the originial fiction thing is going to happen though, because it's going to be more 'lets see how many fics I can finish in a month'. Because I have a lot.

I have a checklist.
IOTBSFTGOM (I Ought To Be Shot For The Good Of Mankind) - Merlin as The Lion King 2
Untitled - A Kink Meme arranged marriage fic (7000 words and they aren't even married yet *headdesk*)
Untitled - Merlin as The Labyrinth
Special Relationship - A Trinity/Merlin crossover type thing.
Knight in a shining Audi - Tidy up, repost and I have some ideas for a sequel. Gurk.

There's more. But I don't really want to think about that.

Moving House & Merlin

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:16:31 GMT

This Friday actually.

The grand total of about 300 yards diagonally.

I really didn't know I had this much junk because I've been packing maniacally and I still haven't finished. Lots of boxes everywhere but I honestly can't wait. I can finally get away from my neighbors with whom I've had a bit of a feud for the last four or five years.

Happy.

Even more happy because Merlin Season 2 aired yesterday and I couldn't stop grinning all day. Although Arthur appears to have reverted to early season one and the episode was sort of a cross between ep 2 and ep 7 of Season 1.

Still, shirtless Arthur three times.

Happy, happy.

Speech recognition is awesome.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:52:08 GMT

I am using the dictate function on my computer, to dictate this post. This feature allows me to be as lazy as I want, because I don't actually have to type.

Speech recognition is awesome. Also, Merlin starts on September 19 so I'm happyhappyhappy.

Today is a good day.

OMG MERLIN ON DVD. AND I HAS IT

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:43:24 GMT

I'd say I'm sorry for the caps but I'm really really not. Because I'm so ridiculously happy.

Pre-ordered it an age and a half ago but it arrived today. Which is amazing because I didn't think it would.

The cover is so pretty. It means I can stare at Bradley James and Colin Morgan.

I'm so happy.

I may have scared the postman. Because he had to knock (Letterbox is ridiculously small) and when I saw the Amazon package I made a very high pitched noise and hugged him. Before taking the Amazon package and shutting the door and then bouncing around the hallway like a maniac.

Episodes 1-6 AND special features. OMG SO HAPPY.

Guess what I'll be doing today?

And the world does not hate me. Review of Merlin: Excaliber.

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 01:42:45 GMT

So, amazingly, my computer has not failed me, I-player has Merlin up quickly and LJ is working too. *Touch wood*

So here goes my review.

I'm going to start a bit earlier than usual (I usually wait to see something I haven't seen before) but I'd like to say I find the voice of whoever is doing the 'In a land of myth and a time of magic' bit oddly sexy. Is just my oddness.

Oooh stone dead people. Like in the Da Vinci Code. And ominous music, this can't be good.

Lotsa cobwebs. Ugh. Hate cobwebs.

If these guys were important enough to have effigies carved out of stone then they would totally have had much more space.

An ominous shadow falls across one of them. Who is it?

Ooooh it's Nimueh. Yay for the return of a (relatively) decent villain.

Also, doesn't she get cold in that sleeveless dress. Why are there no cobwebs and stuffs in her hair.

She is actually kinda scary. It's the eyes.

And I cannot believe I've written this much about 28 seconds of TV show. Probably cause I'm just wittering on. Feel free to ignore me.

MAGIC. Yays. Also, why don't her eyes glow? In actual fact apart from Sophia, Evil!Father and Merlin do any of the magic people's eyes change colour?

Nimueh always sounds so angry when she does magic. Maybe cause it's hurtful magic. Meh. Another crackpot theory from the mind of yours truely.

Damn this is a long bit of magic.

What's this got to do with Uther?

And what is that scary cracking noise.

Oooh, the tomb is cracking.

I actually screamed a little bit when the hand came up. But then again I'm a total wimp so...

Happy!Nimueh is happy. This can only mean bad things to come.

Oooh. Camelot. Purty.

Erm, hangonamoment. Whazzapnin? Why on earth is Arthur kneeling and what is Uther going on about?

Still not making sense. Mind 'splaining anyone?

Awww, Merlin is happy and proud. And he has the totally historically inaccurate blue shirt on and some sort of servant uniform which doesn't involve that hat. Cute.

Uther talking bout mercy made me giggle madly. Even though I still haven't quite got what's going on.

I always thought this was the era of thee's and thou's. Shouldn't Uther's speech (cause it is a formal setting) be more flowery?

Gaius. Yay.

What the fuck is going on? But that golden rod thingy is totally awesome. WANT

Why isn't Arthur wearing a crown?

I thought he already was Prince.

Oh so now he's Crown Prince. Cool beans.

Uther, show some parentally proundness please. (Say that three times quickly)

Oooh shiny new crown. I think. WANT.

So it's Arthur's birthday or something? Wonder what Merlin gave him for a present (Fic plz)

OMG UTHER SMILED. It's so rare it deserved capslock.

Morgana looks happy too. And she appears to be wearing a necklace on her head.

Arthur's crown is shinier.

Arthur looks like me when I'm trying not to laugh. Or to control a big arse grin. He's happy but he's not showing it.

"So how does it feel to be servant to the Crown Prince of Camelot?"
"Washing his royal socks will be even more of a privilage" Merlin I may have to forgive you for last week. Only just two minutes in and already we have our first contender for 'Best Line of the episode'.

Merlin is totally denying anything to do with feeling proud of Arthur. Or any other sort of emotion

Historical accuracy is preparing for another jaunt out of the window. Socks.

And it's going, going, GONE. Bye bye historical accuracy, the BBC won't miss you. Glass windows (I'm relatively sure they didn't have them then, but I might be wrong)

But that is one HELL of an entrance. Crashing through a glass window. You can't get better than that. And it'd be really expensive to replace.

Worried!Merlin is worried. Arthur might be in danger. Because practically everything evil which comes to Camelot has something to do with Arthur. One wonders how Arthur survived before Merlin with all this magic evil trying to kill him.

Uther is not best pleased.

Neither is Gaius.

Arthur is irritated that someone's crashed his party. Hmph.

Why is no one bleeding? Glass shards are SHARP and when they fly everywhere people get cut up.

When in doubt Arthur draws his sword.

And the other people in flappy red cloaks do the same.

The guy at 2:23 looks really young.

As big as Camelot is you'd think that the main hall would be bigger.

Uther is trying to figure out who he forgot to invite. This is shaping up to be a little like Sleeping Beauty.

For such a small hall it takes that big horse an age to get there.

Gaius looks... I'm not sure how to describe it. Mildly surprised and curious and alittle bit scared.

Merlin is looking very worried.

So is Gwen.

The number of guests is confusing me to no end

Oh, waitaminute, there were a load of them running away. Okay I get it now.

Camelot's guards are useless, they do nothing when it would be good for them to do something but when you don't want them to do anything they do.

That's a very dented helmet.

It looks a bit like a bucket.

Up close Uther crown is very detailed. It's pretty.

What on earth.

Oh I get it. Throwing down the gauntlet. Literally. Haha.

Merlin is looking very apprehensive.

Arthur really doesn't get it.

Neither does anyone else.

Uther is surprised by the shield. It's kinda pretty too. Well the design is.

Gaius knows what it is. I think.

Arthur puts his sword away. That's a first.

Young!Knight looks young and now has a name, which I didn't catch (Caught it later - Owain. However he will be referred to here as Young!Knight). Not only that but I think Arthur wanted to pick it up.

Arthur gets it.

So what's that guy's name. (The knight, not the guy in black on the horse)

The guy in black has a voice. Amazing that. Most dead people don't. Then again most dead people don't gatecrash parties on horseback. At least, none I know of do.

Like that's fair Mr.Black Knight. You're already dead, so you can't die. But he can.

Young!Knight is thinking he probably shouldn't have done that.

Uther has a sword? And it was drawn? When did that happen?

Is it sad that I know which bits of the intro we have and haven't seen?

Merlin is getting cleverer. I think. And Gaius is mixing something which will undoubtedly taste bad.

Gaius is probably being deceptive.

"He's not the sort of guy you'd forget in a hurry is he?" No duh Merlin

"Merlin your faith in my all-seeing knowledge is both touching and wholly misplaced." Gaius I love you.

He's sending Merlin to bed. Which is kind of sweet.

Merlin doesn't want to go to bed though (Not without Arthur)

Did he just say 'Do you think our wine can beat him?"

Pissed!Arthur is pissed.

Arthur wanted to fight the guy who crashed his party.

I want to give Arthur a hug. Chainmail and all.

I was right, Gaius does know who it is. And so does Geoffrey-from-four-episodes-ago.

So Mr.Black Knight has a name. Tristan Debois or something like that.

Speshul!Books. Dey has dem.

Uther looks grumpy.

And slightly anxious. Because there's a sword on the table and he went for it when the doors opened.

Silly man. The Dark Knight (No, not Batman) likes to make an entrance and you don't do that by walking through a door.

It's only Gaius. Uther can relax.

Gaius is telling Uther things he already knows.

Dead!Guy is dead. O rly? Well then explain how he's riding around gatecrashing.

Uther killed him. Why?

Uther is again being pigheaded. Silly man.

The look they shared confirmed them as last generations Arthur and Merlin. Totally.

That's a holy flag. In the sense it has lots of holes. Not that it is, in fact, religious in any way.

And Dead!Guy is menacing.

Young!Knight is getting some last minute fighting tips from Arthur.

How many people does Merlin play servant too?

Arthur get a bit short tempered when he's worried.

Now he's giving Sir Whatsisname some advice regarding mortal combat. I would be listening but Arthur's hair is very pretty.

"I know no one ~~stupider~~ braver" That was relatively forced.

"All it takes to kill a man is one well aimed blow" Well, so long as the man isn't already dead.

My advice. Just kick him in the balls and lop of his head. But that's probably agaisnt the Knights Code of Honour of something.

Yay, Gwen. Well at least they're a little bit historically accurate, sort of.

I'm not sure if Morgana is doing this because she feels sorry for the guy or she really wants to irritate Arthur.

Probably both. I get the feeling Morgana really doesn't like the Knights Code of Honour.

Yes you will mate. Yes you will.

I find the eye bit funny. Gwen looks at Merlin who looks at Arthur who looks away. I get the feeling that's not a good sign.

And the ominous music starts again. Not good.

I take it there's a permanent arena built there. That or Uther has some magical carpenters.

Last minute advice from Arthur and a worried look from Merlin.

Is it just me or is it totally impractical to fight is such a long flowy cloak?

Oh so they don't fight with the flowy cloak of impracticality. Makes sense.

Arthur does not look best pleased.

Dead!Guy is veeeery good fighter. Or else Young!Knight is bad.

No one looks pleased that Dead!Guy is winning.

Dead!Guy should be dead. But he isn't. And everyone is slightly confused.

And now Young!Knight is going to die. And I have written a fucking ridiculous amount for just under 10 minutes.

Yes. Young!Knight is dead. Aww sad. :(

Gauntlet is thrown down again.

Arthur wants a go.

But his daddy won't let him.

"Daaad."

"I Sir Pelennor take up the challenge" Sorry LOTR freak here. His name made me giggle.

"So be it" He wanted to fight Arthur too. Now he gets LOTR!Knight.

Grumpy!Arthur is grumpy.

"He should be dead" Well done Merlin
"Perhaps he already is" Gaius gets it.

Arthur really is pissed at his father.

Uther has a slightly plausible reason for not letting Arthur fight.

And it's not even Uther's fault that LOTR!Knight is going to die.

I think Uther is deluding himself.

Gaius and Merlin are going to Dead!Guy's tomb.
I thought for a moment they were going to see the dragon. But no, Gaius doesn't know Merlin knows about the dragon and the opposite is true too.

Door slams
"Must have been a gust of wind" I get the strangest feeling that it wasn't.

No it probably was. The ominous music has gone. Unless they're lulling us into a false sense of security.

Merlin's line about crypts and not being seen dead anywhere else was EPIC WIN.

Merlin can be useful. Amazing that.

"We're breaking in to someone's grave?"
"We're too late. I think someone's already broken out"

That is not good.

We learn more about Arthur and his parentage.

Haha. Uncle Tristan. And he's relatively intent on killing either Uther or Arthur.

So we've discovered that he's dead and thus cannot be killed. Now all we have to do is find a non mortal weapon.

LOTR!Knight's outlook does not look good.

Morgana and Gwen (I think) have seen what Merlin has seen

Confused!Uther is confused.

Arthur's taking up the challenge. Methinks Uther will not be happy.

Merlin's not looking to happy either.

Yep. Uther is not happy King. Arthur is brooding.

Uther, the correct words are "You're my son and I don't want to see you die." Unfortunately Uther is a dickhead and won't admit that.

Honestly, have you learnt nothing from incidences before. The moment you forbid him to do something Arthur will go and do it.

Aww Merlin, he really doesn't want Arthur to die at all. It's really quite sweet.

So he's going to find a way of killing it himself.

While Gaius goes to see a rather unhappy Uther.

Whenever Gaius has 'a matter of great importance' to discuss it usually involves an imminent threat to either Arthur or Camelot and magic.

I absolutely love Gaius. He's totally irreverant.

Try imagining how that conversation would go
"Arthur, that knight you're going to fight. He's your uncle, oh and he's dead and if you fight him you're going to die."
AWKWARD.

"I am the King, you cannot tell me what to do." Yes Uther, now go do what the nice man says.

Grumpy!Uther is very grumpy.

Oooh sekrits.

Ah hah. Sneaky!Merlin is sneaky.

Oooh. Magic, is this really a good idea Merlin?

Oooh FIRE. *Pyro*

Merlin is confused. His magic is not working.

And now the scary knight man is looking his way. That can't be good.

So Merlin runs. Clever boy.

Dead!Guy is smug.

Arthur is practicing, yay for swinging sword's around. Mind you it seems a little pointless, like playing chess against yourself, there's no secondary human element.

Still, he's pretty so I like him.

"Merlin, you know that conversation we had about knocking" Arthur, I love you. Also, totally goes towards best line of the episode also.

Arthur feels betrayed, his boyfriend has no confidence in him. *Pout*

And so he lashes out, because that's what he does best. Only this time he has a sword in his hands.

Oooops

Hmm, Uther. Drinking.

Ominous candles going out.

AHHH NIMUEH. Please tell me I'm not the only one who screamed when she appeared.

Nimueh has come to gloat. Silly peoples, gloating gets you killed.

Why Uther doesn't run her through with the sword I don't know.

Owch.

I really want to hug Uther. Bastard though he may be I want to hug him.

Uther has a heart. Wow. And he can actually be nice. Double wow.

That sort of explains why Uther can be such a bastard to Arthur, when he look at Arthur he sees his dead wife.

And they were getting on so well. I think a central theme for Merlin is revenge. Merlin can't practice magic because Uther is still exacting revenge for the killing of his wife.

Pleasant lady isn't she?

Heehee. Nimueh goes Fwoom.

Merlin is in a library.

Yay. Library man makes another appearance.

Merlin uses Gaius as an excuse.

Only Library guy turns out to be nice. And helpful.

Ah hah. The dragon. So it has some other use apart from spouting cryptic riddles and slash fandragoning

Merlin disappears. Only without the Fwoom.

He goes to ask Gwen a favour.

Goes to ask her about swords.

Brooding!Arthur is brooding.

Morgana, like everybody else, doesn't want him to fight tomorrow.

They understand each other though.

Uther is going to do something relatively stupid. Or try to.

Why doesn't Uther want Arthur to know about the circumstances of his birth. Considering their temper's it would probably be a volatile conversation.

"It may surprise you Merlin but my knowledge of your life is not universal." Dragon, you win .

Yay for cryptic dragons who are very powerful. But if he's so powerful how the fuck has he not broken the chain which keeps him here.

Ooh shiny. WANT

Yes Mr. Dragon, we get it. Now give us some more slashy hints plz.

Brooding!Uther is brooding. Now we see where Arthur gets it from.

Gaius is being helpful, or trying to be.

Arthur doesn't want it, but he's going to drink it anyway.

"Mind you, if you forget about the taste, the aftereffect is quite pleasurable" OO-ER is all I can say.

Arthur is not sleepy. No sleepy 'tall. Zzzz.

All I can say is aww . Arthur sleeping is sweet.

Now Gaius is locking him in. He's not going to thank you for that Gaius.

Uther is still brooding.

Iz morning naow. Merlin's swapping swords. I think.

Uther can be very sneaky. I jumped.

Uther. Explaining himself (sort of). To a servant. Unheard of

I think, somewhere under there, Uther actually likes Merlin. Because I really don't think anyone else could get away with what Merlin does without being beheaded or something.

Yes of course Merlin is loyal to Arthur, they're totally in love.

This is definately Uther allowing Merlin and Arthur's relationship to continue. He knows his son is perfectly capable of looking after himself.

This is going to be...interesting.

The populace is confused.

So are Morgana and Gwen.

Arthur looks adorable when he's asleep.

Nice alarm clock though. The sound of two men trying to kill each other.

Sexy bedhead.

Unhappy!Arthur is unhappy. He's been locked in his rooms.

So he's going to try and knock down the door. But it doesn't work. Oh Teh Noez

Well isn't he just the looker.

MY THEORY IS PROVED. Nimueh has a flappy cloak. Thus all people with hooded flappy cloak s are evil.

It's the last part of the intro. Yays.

And Uther saved the day, sort of.

And Gaius finds out that it's all Merlin's fault really.

Arthur is not happy at all

Uther's near brush with death has made him all soppy. Aww. I want to give him a hug. Again.

Awww, Arthur thought he was such a disappointment to his father, but he isn't.

"I heard you fought pretty well"
"Thank you"
"You should join us in training. Work on your footwork"
"I'll show you footwork"
That is the first real nice interaction we've seen between Uther and Arthur and it made me all sappy.

Gaius is proud of Merlin. But only subtly.

They dragon, however, is a different story. He's tormenting Merlin whle he sleeps again

He is not happy. Not at all happy.

Merlin goes sword borrowing again.

Only this time it's to put it somewhere no man can get it. Which is, incidentally in the Magic!Lake. I think.

OMG. ANOTHER PART OF THE INTRO.
.

Next Week: Cannot wait. Totally.

Guess what? More Merlin. Review for Episode 8

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 02:37:29 GMT

I guess the world just hates me posting a review of this. Last week it was deleting my entire (or nearly entire) review. This week my internet decided to hate me. So when I came on LJ with the intention of writing a review it decided to drive me crazy with up to seven new windows of 'Cannot Find Server' and they wouldn't go away.

So after re-starting my computer here is my review.

Are the people who make this like obsessed with hands or something, cause this is the second time they've used hands (or arms) as an opening shot. Anway, two hands this time.

AWWWWWW. That little kid is fucking adorable. I can has for squishing?

From a distance the older guy looks kind of like Aragorn. What is it with people and hooded cloaks.

Hmm. Possible hypothesis; anyone who wears a hooded cloak is evil? (Edwin, Sophia) True/False. We'll find out.

Nope, close up tall guy doesn't look like Aragorn.

Little kid is still adorable. All wide eyed and I love his cape.

Tall guys cape has some cool embroidery on it.

Are they related? Father/Son, Uncle/Nephew?

Spices and stuff and then a rather dirty bald guy. Who looks shocked.

"Do you have my supplies? We must leave the city without delay" What a way to sound un-suspicious. NOT

Hmm, suspicious looking bag. Adorable kid is slightly confused.

"I'm sorry" Momentary WTF.

Ahh guards. End of momentary WTF.

Quick. Run

Yes. Running. The producers like running to dramatic music don't they.

Yes Mr. Man, destroy the market place, that's a good diversion. (I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic here. Can somebody tell me)

Adorable little kid is still adorable

Clever man. Head into the stronghold of the guy who commands the guards who are trying to arrest you. [/Sarcasm]

I swear they ran past some sort of modern poster.

Oooh flying guard. He's from the intro.

Superhero!Arthur has rubbed off on Merlin (Oo-er).

MAGIC. Stupid man. Stupid stupid man.

Hmm. Stupid!Man is sacrificing himself for Adorable!Kid. Sweet.

INTRO.

Oooh a corridor. With a randomly placed chair.

Yay. Merlin.

Hmm. Guess the dragon isn't the only one with telepathic abilities.

Shouldn't Merlin seem a little more worried at hearing voices.

Is that the same lady from last week.

Kid's kind of repetitive 'Help. Help me please'. Wouldn't directions as to where to help and how to help be more useful?

Merlin is confused. He can't tell where the voice is coming from.

Awww. Adorable!Kid is adorable.

Flappy red cloak. Pretty.

I find it kind of amusing that with such a distinctive cloak no one notices that he's sitting there.

I'm pretty sure he's evil. But I have trouble seeing how.

This whole 'Help me' thing is getting repetitive.

And Merlin is slowly getting a clue

Guards.

And Adorable!Kid changes his tune. 'They're searching for me'

I think he's taken the title of Sir Pointouttheobvious-a-lot.

Merlin can do telepathness too. Yay. At least he asks sensible questions.

Okay I stopped I-play at 3:24 and I swear Adorable!Kid looks EVIL. Actually evil.

Adorable!Kid is dramatic.

Wouldn't it be more prudent for him to shed the cloak. It's really distinctive. Without it he'd look like any other kid.

Not only that but running, when people are looking for you is really stupid.

Merlin you are a complete idiot. But I have to commend you on your ~~stupidity~~ bravery. Though has it not occured to you that the kid must be wanted for something?

More running. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a central theme in this episode.

Morgana and Gwen and a candle. That's odd. I'm sure this will make sense in a minute.

"Have you forgotten how to knock Merlin?" Should I be reading something into this that Morgana a. knows his name and b. uses it? Also, first contender for 'best line of the episode'.

Amazingly Merlin, the usual proceedure when the guards are after someone is to let them be caught. Because generally they have broken the laws of the land.

Yay for wards of the King who can get away with things. But I think she'll pay for that.

It's a little worrying that she'll lie for Merlin and a boy she knows nothing about. What does that say about someone.

YAY. ARTHUR.

And he's not being a prat. Miracles can occur.

Arthur can recognise that killing people because they happen to be in your city and you don't like them is not a good virtue in a King.

Unfortunately Uther can't. Hate him again.

Third time in two episodes we've seen that jacket. One would think a prince would have a larger repertoire of clothes. Mind you Morgana doesn't. But her clothes are pretty.

Uther, Uther, Uther. As we have found out the only defence against magic is more magic. One of these days a large group of magic users are going to get together and decide that they really don't like you killing them. And then you'll be a little bit screwed.

Arthur's 'yeah right' expression is love.

Yay for Arthur being nice. Merlin has changed him.

Also, anyone think the way Arthur was standing at the table was suggestive? Oh dear lord, my fangirl mind has gone to live in the deepest recesses of the gutter.

The 'lets protect the kingdom by killing people' makes sense if you turn you head to the left and squint a bit.

Yes Uther. Killing 'the Druid' will send out a clear message. Only it's 'I am a tyrant. Hear me roar'.

Once again Uther gets his son to do all the dirty work. Pleasant innee.

Adorable!Kid is still adorable. And tattooed.

That's a pleasant sight. A tree-stump and a basket. How technologically advanced.

Mr.DruidyMan go byebye

Apparently Arthur does attend executions, though he's not looking happy about it. Morgana and Merlin are furvertive.

God Uther is there any punishment other than execution? Magic-Execution, Conspiracy - Execution what next?

Morgana and Merlin look suitably worried. He should be. She might get away with her life but Merlin would end up a head shorter than he currently is.

Mr. DruidyMan makes sense.

Owch. Kid has magic. And doesn't he know it's bad luck to break a mirror. He doesn't need any more of that.

Oooh. Merlin and sciency stuff.

Knowledgable!Gaius is knowledgable

Amazingly Merlin can lie without being obvious, just not to the King.

Gaius knows him to well.

And thus Merlin admits a little bit.

"You know me, I'm always careful."
"Yes Merlin, unfortunately I do" Go Gaius.

Prodding haycarts. Fun.

Awww, Morgana's worrying over the little fugitive boy. It's quite sweet actually. Though I think historical accuracy is preparing itself for another jaunt out the window after that comment about the blood.

Merlin, has anyone ever told you that provoking the one person standing between you and execution is NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Love sarcastic!Morgana. Love sarcastic!anyone really. Love sarcasm.

And Merlin manages to rectify it a little bit.

Bless your soft heart Morgana. Though Arthur mght not thank you for it later on.

Awww. Adorable!Kid is still adorable, despite being pale, possibly evil and unconcious.

And it turns out Arthur isn't the only royal to not like the King.

MORGANA GETS IT. YAY. Finally.

Well I'm pretty sure Arthur would get it too. But he's dim. And currently not in this episode so much (But we are only 9 minutes in so there's hope yet).

Curious!Morgana is curious. And also a bit suspicious.

That is a big table. Apparently it's supposed to be informal. That's the formalist informal I've ever seen.

And it confirms my theory that Uther likes Morgana best.

Perceptive!Uther is perceptive. Or perhaps Morgana's just blatently obvious with her troubles.

And unlike Merlin Morgana can actually lie to the King and he believes her.

Yay Arthur.

Uther that is harsh. Really harsh.

Yay for Morgana/Arthur banter. I definately see them as more brother and sister than potential love interests.

I think Morgana is sucking up to Uther.

Didn't we try this before (The whole 'searching' thing) and that didn't work did it.

Oooh. Pretty Camelot.

Merlin and Morgana are worrying over this little kid. It's totally adorable.

"Besides, if he finds out he's execute me himself." Love this line.

I think this is another one of Merlin's silly ideas. Why do I get the feeling that somebodies going to nearly escape execution?

Oh shit. Someone's knocking on the door. Who is it?

Oh. It's Arthur.

Oh Fuck. I think.

I thought so. Figured he'd be searching Morgana's rooms. Which mean's either he's going to end up helping, he'll be decieved or Merlin and Morgana are going to die. I'm betting on 1 or 2. Because there are five more episodes to go and it's a bit difficult to have a TV show without the main character.

Why oh why couldn't Merlin know an invisibility spell. It's the first thing any kid with magic would try isn't it? Not only that but having an escape plan when living in a city where magic is a capital crime is probably a good idea.

YAY. Morgana and Arthur banter. And Arthur is talking about Merlin, double yay.

Yes why hasn't Arthur missed Merlin, he's usually so posessive over him. WHERE HAS POSESSIVE!ARTHUR GONE *Panic*?

Loving the walking boots. Reminds me of the extra featurs on Shrek 2. Far Far Away Idol. When Puss in Boots sings 'These boots are made for walking' and his boots move of their own accord.

Yay for Morgana calling Arthur's bluff. He really is dim isn't he. Or he can be. Good thing he's so hot otherwise I would have to dislike him on principle.

"Why don't you just go back to brushing your hair or whatever it is you do all day" Arthur, I dislike the sexist implications of that statement but ILY for it.

And Morgana's totally sincere 'Bye Arthur, good luck with the search' *smirk smirk*

Merlin finds out what to do. Hopefully he won't (Or will I'm not sure) kill the boy.

Gaius comes in at the most opportune moment. I knew he was going to do that. Gives us another excuse to watch Merlin stutter and blather on. Also Gaius might get brought in on the secret.

Or not. But Merlin does look cute when he's actually managing to lie believably.

"Sit" Now I really want a fic where Merlin gets turned into a puppy of some sort (Something adorable but clumsy) and Arthur has to look after him (maybe because it's Arthur's fault). I can just see Arthur shouting 'Sit. Stay' and then Merlin peeing on his jacket or something.

That is a biiiig book. WANT.

"Once Gaius starts talking about anatomy he doesn't stop" *Snigger* Poor Merlin, but it is your own fault really.

Adorable!Kid is awake. And speaking telepathically.

What exactly is Merlin's Druid name? Didn't quite catch it. And how do they know about him? I think Merlin is curious too.

Honestly kid. Can't you stay awake.

Merlin's going to see the dragon. YAY Dragon. Makes sense. When breaking the law and hiding a fugitive go and see the one thing which could get you in more trouble (short of doing magic openly).

Ahh. Emris. Dragon pronounces it clearer.

"I'm pretty sure my name's Merlin. Always has been" Merlin my dear you win.

SlashDragon is unhappy. Maybe it's because the druid boy is taking Merlin away from Arthur

You do realise he's not going to listen to you, right?

That is a bloody long chain.

Awww. Morgana. She's mothering him. And Gwn is trying to mother her. That is a very pretty dress.

You know you've been awake too long when you start hearing voices in your head (Unless of course you're caring for a telepathic little boy).

Merlin is a little bit stuck now. He's told Gaius he's not helping the druid boy and there's now a seed of doubt about wether he's doing the right thing. And he has a slightly pre-menstrual Morgana on his hands. Poor guy.

Well that's uncharacteristic of you Merlin. Usually it's your fault.

Serious!Merlin is serious. Which is a bit difficult with those ears.

Aww. Merlin confesses everything. And he's so sincere

That, Merlin, is emotional blackmail and it's not nice.

I kind of figured this would happen. Gaius is a little to nice for his own good.

This is amusing. Morgana knows that Uther won't execute her, or she's pretty certain. When Morgana said it was too dangerous for Merlin it made me giggle.

And Arthur's the only one with the key. Well that makes things difficult.

So Merlin has to borrow the key. Which Arthur conviniently has on a key ring on his belt. (Anyone else seeing 'Alternative methods of getting the key' fic?).

Arthur you are slightly dim.

And you have keys floating behind your head (I started shouting the old panto classic 'It's behind you')

See Merlin you are a good lier.

That has now become my favourite comedy instance ever. It's so amusing I watched it three times. The faces they pull are so funny.

We still haven't found out what the hell his name is yet (Adorable!Kid that is).

And now Morgana is apologising to Gwen. Which is typical behaviour for a noble lady.

This ought to be interesting.

Ooh Little Red Riding Hood much. Only I don't think she's fearing the big bad wolf so much as the big bad Uther

I get the horrible feeling they're going to get caught. Because, to be honest, they look suspicious. And anyone who's ever been somewhere they shouldn't be doing something they shouldn't do knows that looking suspicious, creeping and seeming nervous are three things which are going to get you caught. She is Lady Morgana, ward of the King and this is her home, that means any guards who happen to see her should get out of her way.

I think they're a little screwed.

And Arthur's just realised that someone's stolen his keys.

And now everything gone balls up and Morgana's taking all the responsibility. Ain't she nice.

Arthur's coming to fiiind you. Buggeration.

Thing is I'm not sure if he's good or bad. But I'm inclined to agree with the slash dragon. Afterall he's not been wrong yet.

Why does everyone who is hiding feel the need to peek?

I think Morgana is screwed. Even more screwed than she was half a minute ago.

Nooo. Idiotic woman, you never move straight on after you've nearly been found. People expect that and they wait a little. Besides, once something has been searched then it's clear, so they won't check back there for a while.

Told you she was screwed. How the heck is Uther going to react. Badly I suppose.

Morgana really need magic now.

Arthur is confused and disbelieving. But unfortuntately (In front of the guards) he can't show mercy (Which I firmly believe he would have if he'd come across them himself)

Angry!Uther is very angry. And Morgana is remorseless or apparently so.

Uther is wearing that amulet thingy again.

Brooding!Arthur is brooding.

Morgana's doing a Merlin.

Uther's being a bastard again. By now we've figured out that begging does not get you anywhere with Uther.

Once again he's making Arthur do all the dirty work. What a nice father he is.

When Arthur did something this bad he got thrown into the cells for a week. I think Uther does prefer Morgana.

Morgana, silly girl, don't keep pushing Uther. Surely you know what a bad temper he's got.

Owch much.

So you never want her to speak to you again. That might make the dinner table a bit more difficult.

Arthur's interceding I think.

Oh no.

Morgana you really shouldn't make promises you can't keep.

Merlin, you idiot, you're just putting your head on the chopping block.

I was wrong, Arthur is interceding. And he's wearing that coat I love.

Nope, Uther is going to be a bastard about this.

I think he might have gotten up on the wrong side of the royal bed this morning. Grumpy old man.

Morgana, stop pushing.

Eventually Arthur's going to give in.

OW. She played the King card, that is also emotional blackmail.

And I think Arthur's given in.

Executioner's sharpening the axe, how pleasant.

Merlin and Arthur and Morgana. Plot to save Druid!Boy?

Nope.

Oh, actually, yes - plot to save Druid!Boy

Merlin is a little bit stuck.

Morgana can't do it. So let's make Merlin do it. Never mind that, you know, if he gets caught he'll get executed too.

Merlin goes to see the fount of all really irritating comments. Only to find out that he's either got to betray Arthur and let the boy die or let the boy live and worry about him killing Arthur.

Well fuck. That's a hard choice to make.

Gaius wins for comparing Merlin's forehead to a lizards elbow.

Merlin describes Arthur's death as 'Unthinkable'. Which is enough of a slashy hint for meee.

Merlin's very stuck and also quite confused.

Gaius. Of course Merlin's sense of right will involve him putting himself in terrible danger. It always does..

Apparently not.

I agree with Gwen, she makes an awful lot of sense.

Now Morgana is going to practice the art of 'sincere' apologies. And Uther is probably going to insist she go the the execution.

She's very good at them too.

Sneaky!Arthur is sneaky.

I want to know what's in that bag.

I think that's the same cell Arthur was locked in.

That little boy is very trusting.

And Merlin isn't there. But Arthur trusts him

Angsty!Merlin is angsty.

Angry!Arthur is angry and also worried.

Merlin is trying to persuade himself that this is the right thing to do.

Adorable!Kid is returning to a litany of 'Help's'.

What are you going to do Arthur, fight all your guards yourself.

That kid does emotional blackmail like a pro. Be strong Merlin, be strong.

Merlin you fucking idiot. I may have to hate you for that.

But having Merlin and Arthur's faces so close may have just made up for that a little bit.

I would like to point out that this is physically impossible to do with one horse. Dynamite maybe, or magic but not a horse a rope and a grappeling hook. Historical accuracy has just gone out of the window and so has plausibility. The rope would break before the grate would. Not only that but it wouldn't come out so neatly and it would make so much noise it wouldn't be funny.

I'm pretty sure that kid is evil. Which may prove my point about flappy hooded cloaks.

Uther can actually be rather scary

"My name is Mordred" Oh Fuck.

But wasn't he supposed to be Arthur's half brother or son or something?

Next week: The Return of Nimeuh, I thought she might be waiting on the sidelines plotting something.
.

Anyway. It's half past two in the morning and I'm tired.

Review of Merlin: Episode 7 -The Gates of Avalon

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 04:05:42 GMT

My very first post on LJ. How appropriate that it should be about Merlin when Merlin was the reason I joined the site in the first place.

Anyway. I've had some awful trouble with this, because first I couldn't watch the episode (Stupid X-Factor) then BBC I-player wouldn't let me watch it. Then BBC I-player let me watch it and I got started on this review, but I accidentally deleted it.

In short I am an idiot. And this is the second edition of my review.

Oooh. Random floating arm. What on earth?

Is that Arthur? And why is the water yellow?

Yeah, that's Arthur. Is he dead or something.

Oooh. Evil Lady. Pretty gold cloak and hair thingummy. I dislike her already and we're only a minute and a bit into the episode.

MORGANA. Yay, some sense to this madness.

Agh. Scary dreams. Poor Morgana.

Ooooh. Shiny sword. Shiiiiiiny. (I'm very easily distracted by pretty things, like Bradley James and shiny swords)

Green-ness. Are we in a forest?

Duh.

Sneaky sneak Arthur. Also, were crossbows invented then?

Bradley James is pretty.

Aim. Aaaaand.

Bumble

"What is it?"
"You really are a total buffoon aren't you Merlin" Is he supposed to answer that? Angry!Arthur is angry, but still hot.
"I was just asking"
"Who me or the deer?" First time I heard that I swear he said 'Who me dear?', my fangirl mind is clearly overwrought

Merlin looks blank

"We're hunting. It requires speed, stelth and an agile mind"
"I guess you're able to get by on two out of three then" And here comes the banter which was so missing from the last couple of eps. Also Merlin win's for that line

And Angry!Arthur turns into Superhero!Arthur at the sound of a damsel in distress. Poor Merlin.

Arthur shoots some guy in the back. Are we sure this is a kiddies program?

I swear, there's more sword twirling than there is actual fighting.

Yes, elbow him in the back Arthur, that'll stop him stabbing you. Guess this is a kiddies show after all.

Definately a kiddies show.

Arthur kicks arse though.

Hmm. Random bit of a tree falling. That's not suspicious at all.

More killing. Appropriate?

Sword twirling. Fun but not particularly effective.

"Stroke of luck" Arthur you really are dim.

And of course Arthur, you're going to let him run away. Despite the fact he could come back with a bigger gang of friends and then you'd be screwed (And not by Merlin).

Arthur's expression says everything - 'What the hell are you going on about Merlin'.

Arthur is schmoozing and Merlin is looking slightly posessive, and a little worried

Arthur, why must you invite these people who are obviously going to kill you to Camelot?

ARGH. Evil lady from Morgana's dream. She still has a very pretty cloak, though it's really quite impractical. Hair's pretty too. Don't like her though.

Ahhh. We learn her name.

Now I really don't like her. Really really.

Uther looks bored.

That cloak is really impractical. And there's no leaves on it.

Funky staff. I want one.

Arthur watches Sophia, Merlin watches Arthur

Courteous!Uther is courteous. Dammit why couldn't you be a bastard again Uther and tell them to continue onwards. Irritating man.

Arthur looks happy. Merlin looks worried

What is it with these people and scrolls. Are they like medieval ID cards or something?

Okay now I'm starting to hate her.

Arthur, why must you be so nice.

"Shut up Merlin"
"I didn't say anything"
"You didn't have to"

Is that the jacket from Episode 4.

It is. Don't wear it Arthur, it's bad luck. Last time it nearly got Merlin killed.

And now he's justifying himself to Merlin. That's quite funny actually.

Arthur is being fashion concious. Tee Hee

"She is very beautiful"

Merlin I may have to hate you for saying that.
Arthur I may have to hate you for agreeing with it.

Justifying, justifying.

I love the 'lightbulb' music. I dunno why but the music when Arthur says "There isn't one" reminds me of a lightbulb.

Merlin, don't be nice to the evil lady.

Ooooh. Morgana.

Oh Merlin, the fact that you seem to care so much for everyone makes me want to give you a hug.

Gaius' experiments look so fun. If we'd done that sort of thing in science at school I'm sure I would have found it far more interesting.

Is Gaius wearing some sort of Argyle vest?

Fatherly!Gaius is fatherly.

Gaius, clearly you have never had a young man living with you before. They're walking, talking mess.

"Your bench is on fire" Morgana, I think you win the best line of the episode.
"My bench is on fire" O rly?
"My bench is on fire!" Yes rly.

Yes Gaius, blowing on a large flame will certainly put it out.

Morgana: Proving noble ladies can be useful and troublesome since whenever this is set.

I swear Gaius is wearing something which looks an awful lot like an Argyle vest.

Ooooh. I sense plot and possible backstory.

Dubious!Gaius is dubious.

I want to hug Morgana right about now.

(Just as a warning if you've got thus far, this is going to be loooong. I'm only seven minute into the episode)

Ooooh. Miniature bottle.

Awww.

Heh heh. Morgana give Gaius a look I think she's borrowed from Arthur. It's the 'you're crazy' look.

I think Gaius can hear the music, which is why he's looking worried. The music is ominous.

A guy by a campfire. This is relevant how?

Oh. He's the 'not dead' guy. Ahhh. I'm seeing the relevancy.

Hold on a second. That's the Sophia's father. Makes sense he's evil too. Cool staff though. WANT.

They paid them. That makes sense actually. Now I think about it they were doing an incredibly crap job of robbing/killing/caputuring an old man and a young lady in a highly impractical dress. It was all a set up.

Another person with an Irish accent. Awesome.

Evil!Father (I cannot for the life of me remember his name. I was to busy staring at Arthur) seems sad.

More killing. Are we positive this is a show for the whole family? The cool staff shoots electricity at people, still cool though,

Oooh. Evil red glowy eyes. Is this going to be a plot point?

Look. A model of Camelot. How pretty.

Morgana is having bad dreams again. This is not going to be good for anyone.

I've yet to figure out why the water is yellow and yet clear at the top.

LoTR-esque shot there methinks. Or maybe not.

Pretty, totally unrelated, shot of the rising sun through the trees. Picturesque.

Arthur, you're mean. And for a prince you have a really small room

Yay for Merlin who can say no to Arthur. He needs someone like that. It must be refreshing for him to find someone who is technically his inferior but doesn't have any problem standing up to him.

Love Merlin's pleading look. Surprised Arthur doesn't crumble.

"I start sweating, my vision blurs, my brain stops working" And I love Merlin's hand gestures.
"Well no change there then"

Arthur I have to hate you for saying yes.

"I can't order you to lie to the king, but you'll be a friend for life if you do" Argleflurgle. The look accompanying that makes my insides goo. Really it does. I'm pretty sure that's what broke Merlin.

Arthur has pretty eyes

Happy!Arthur is happy.

"Thanks Merlin, I won't forget it" Yes you will. You'll forget it the next time Merlin says or does something that irritates you. But at least he said thankyou.

That cloak is bloody impractical.

Gwen. First time we've seen her in a while. Girly talk. Yay.

Morgana, you really don't know what to do do you.

Angsty!Morgana is angsty

And scene switch.

Uther looks kinda scary all done up in chainmail and that highly impractical red cloak. But he has a cool amulet type thing. I've never seen that before. WANT

And now Merlin is going to commit treason and lie to the king. Damn he must be in love.

Be careful though Merlin, I don't think Uther's yet forgiven you for the whole poisoning episode.

Merlin is babbling.

Irrtated!Uther is irritated by this impertinent servant.

"If this were a time of war I would have you flogged" OWCh
"But as it's not you'll let it go just this once" Merlin's look makes me giggle so badly

Nope. He won't. Even with that look

Hmm. Stocks. Were tomatoes even invented back then?

"I forgot how much fun this was" At least you're cheerful about it.

Chivalrous!Arthur is chivalrous. But to the wrong person.

We're 11 minutes in and already I may have developed a pathological loathing for Sophia.

Which has just increased even more.

Arthur really is dim. He doesn't notice magic being done about two inches from his face.

YAY GUY WITH THE BOW. You are my new hero.

But alas, she was not going to die was she. Silly Athur knocked her out of the way. Why can't you let her die silly man.

I may have to hate you for that Arthur.

And now Arthur is running off to shout at the guards.

"You nearly put a crossbow in my face." S'what he said. But it sort of doesn't make sense though.

Evil lady looks shocked.

Don't flatter yourself lady, he just knocked you out of the way of an arrow. He went on a quest for, nearly died for and was imprisoned for Merlin. And he did it earlier in the series.

Evil!Magic staff is not for Arthur.

"We were having such a nice time" Doing what exactly?

Arthur honestly couldn't care less about Sophia, he just wants to go and see Merlin again.

"Have you been playing with your food again?" Gaius, I think this makes 'best line of the episode' contention a bit more difficult.

Poor Merlin.

"The king put me in the stocks"
"What did you do this time?" Suspicious!Gaius is suspicious and he doesn't believe you.

And now Suspicious!Gaius moves into Snooping!Gaius.

Hmm. Lady with towels.

Funky staff has odd writing on it. Still funky though

Evil!Guy has glowing red eyes. Knew they were gonna be a plot point. Also, he looks a bit like Sir Alan Sugar from The Apprentice.

That cloak is very impractical.

Definate pathological loathing. Really hate her. *Grrrr*

Ah HAH. Sophia/Morgana confrontation.

Morgana's prettier.

"Don't think you can make a fool out of me"
"I don't have to. You're managing to do that well enough already" Finally the girls are getting some banter. It's almost Merlin/Arthur esque.

Evil!Lady and Evil!Guy are father/daughter team of evilness.

"Someone so weak, so feeble" Arthur is not weak or feeble. Okay so maybe he is but that doesn't give her the right to say it.

Hmm. Plot, plot plottidy plot. They're sort of revealing the rest of the plot in a roundabout way.

Gaius and Morgana FTW.

"You seem very fond of her"
"You make that sound like a bad thing" Because it is Arthur. It is a bad thing.

Arthur has a very big ego doesn't he. Even now.

Arthur you are a prick sometimes. And I'm not sure how much of that is because of this enchantment and how much is natural.

"You're dressed" Well done Sir. Statetheobvious-a-lot.
"Nothing gets past you Merlin" I think I can forgive you for a bit of your prickishness Arthur.

Merlin, you really shouldn't give in to him like this.

Ahh well, at least they can have angry!makeupsex later.

"They were throwing potatoes at me. It's only supposed to be rotten fruit" What that flying out of the window? Oh wait, it's just historical accuracy.

And now Merlin and Arthur are gossiping about Arthur's love life. How very masculine.

"I think I'm starting to get a hang of this whole deception lark" And I'm a flying pig.

Not only that but that line also goes in the pot for 'best line of the episode'.

Hate Uther. And that little kid too.

Now Sohpia and Arthur are frolicing in the woods. Joy [/sarcasm]

Dim!Arthur is dim. He doesn't notice magic being performed right in front of his face.

PLOT POINT PLOT POINT.

Her eyes go red glowy and then his eyes go red glowy.

Arthur, that shade of red most certainly does not become you. Plz to be getting rid of it.

Ah the return of Suspicious!Gaius. Yay. Surprised!Merlin is surprised.

Gaius explains everything.

That amount of gold bangles is very very tacky.

Arthur has nice hands.

*Pout*

Arthur just stares blankly at Sophia. Where have his his expressions gone. *unhappy*

Bitch. Manipulative Bitch.

I don't like Enchanted!Arthur. He's boring.

More red glowy eyes.

He doesn't kiss her back. He just sits there.

Now Arthur's eyes are red and glowy. I like him with his actual eye colour better. He looks posessed with the red glowy eyes.

Ah Hah. SuperSleuth!Merlin strikes again. We've seen him in a lot of episodes.

More foresty business.

Oooh lake. This took how long to get to there?. Obviously not long.

And now there's this freakish wind.

Merlin is hiding behind a tree.

Uh Oh, crazy man. Talking to a lake is not good.

And now the lake is glowy. This is a very weird lake

Ooooh. Magical light show is pretty.

Merlin looks like my cat when watching my fish, he can't decide which way to look.

Ooooh. Good glowy eyes, for the first time in the episode.

I didn't know you could slow down time Merlin.

I love Merlin's grin, it says 'I'm happy' so well.

Awesome CGI fairies.

And now there is pictures on the lake. How unusual.

Oooh. Avalon.

Evil looklng little CGI fairy has veeeery big voice.

So Evil!Guy was evil even before being evil now.

Oh so that's why Sophia has made Arthur into her love slave. She want to kill him.

Not Good.

No need to inflate Arthur's ego any more Mr.Evil!Guy.

Now the glowy goes away. Pity.

That has to be the worst evil laugh I've ever heard. And a really random one at that.

Hide. Merlin. Hide.

Good boy

"Mortals are only supposed to glimpse it the moment before death"
"I've seen it and I'm still here" Don't tempt fate Merlin.

Gaius is speaking words in a language I do not know. It's probably a vital plot point but I'm feeling a bit dim tonight.

Arthur is now totally embarassing himself in front of the whole court. I'm not sure if I should laugh or feel embarassed

Uther, this is one of those times where I absolutely must love you. Even though it pains me to do so.

Have to disagree on one point. It's totally obvious that Arthur is in love with Merlin, and has been since before he met Sophia.

The exchange between Morgana and Uther was incredibly funny. Sometimes I think Uther cares for her more than he does for Arthur.
"Whatever it is you can tell me" Sweet.

I love the way I was going 'No don't tell him about your dreams' then she told him about something completely different. Merlin scriptwriters, you are all geniuses.

Now Arthur is being even more of a prick.

I feel sorry for Merlin

"I'm your friend" (And more)
"No Merlin, you're my servant" Harsh much.

Categorically hate Sophia. Bitch.

"We can elope together" I don't know why but that made me laugh.

As Merlin's talking you can see the real Arthur coming back a bit. This absolutely has to be a sign of true love.

But then evil!guy and Sophia start talking and bewitched!Arthur is back.

Evil red glowy eyes are back. They really do not suit Arthur

Zappidyzap with the evil!magic!staff. Bugger that must have hurt.

Oh teh noez, Sophia Evil!Guy and Arthur are all gone off to magic!lake.

This upsets Morgana who goes running off to Gaius.

Marchedymarch through the woods. Oooh look, Arthurs eyes have gone red again.

"What's that buzzing noise?" Oh Merlin you don't half crack me up.

Aww father/daughter moment. Sweet, even if they are evil.

Weeee. Runnedy runnedy Merlin.

I imagine there are some hilarious outtakes of Sophia and Arthur standing in the lake staring at each other and then one or both of them cracking up.

Mind your step Merlin, must have been distracted by the dramatic music.

Evil!Guy is shouting something about donkeys and Dolce (And Gabbana?) and then Arthur sort of faints into the water after Sophia kisses him. I don't think that's to good for his health, especially with armour on.

Oh no. Merlin appears to be a bit lost, but then he sees something.

Arthur's sinking, probably in slo-mo for effect.

And once again Merlin is killing people with little to no reaction. Cold much?

Awesome, explody people.

And Merlin happily jumps into a lake to save Arthur.

Long shot of Arthur and then BOOM, Merlin.

They surface to dramatic music. And Arthur manages to look hot even when wet and apparently unconcious

Pretty shot of Camelot and then.

Arthur.

Still alive. And wearing a very nice white shirt which I want to see more of.

How the hell did Merlin get Arthur back to Camelot without being seen?

"Where am I?"
"You are in the house of Lord Elrond...."Ooops, wrong fandom

And Arthur really cannot remember anything (I want the memory to come back slowly)

Oh no, he can remember bits of it.

Merlin and Gaius share a significat look

"What was I thinking?"
"Well we did wonder. Especially when you eloped with her last night " Merlin is taking pleasure in your discomfort
"I did what?" I love the way his voice goes really high on the 'what'

Yeah, Merlin reeeally whacked you around the back of the head with a lump of wood.

"This can go no furthur. Is that understood?" Obey the finger
*Merlin and Gaius share a significant look* *Nodnod*

And once again, everything is Merlins fault. Told you that jacket was unlucky. Though the banter made me laugh madly.
"Could someone please tell me what happened?"
"Ah"
"Someone with a brain"

"Have you some kind of mental affliction?"
"Probably"
"I'm looking into it sire"
"I hope for our sake you find a cure. Or we'll have a food shortage on our hands"
"Food shortage?" *giggle*.... *Merlin gets it*

I'm sure Colin Morgan must really have enjoyed filming those scenes.

Referance to the beginning of the episode and also quite possibly a plot point for furthur episodes. This doesn't look particularly good

Next Week: Looks exciting. Is that Mordred?

This has taken three hours or so and I'm pretty chuffed about it. Oh and it's like 4am.

Bye Bye.

ChainFyre